Friday, October 17, 2003

What!? If ur GP (I mean both of ya) is not good ah, then ours is kiam chai... (not that it isn't already.. or maybe it's just mine.. damn.. %&#$!) -pardon me-

I can get to sungei buloh.. get my dad fetch me there... or can take a cab!! Get your partner to pay.. ya know that always works..

how abt a picture inside the crocs? Haha.. or we can have the AMAZING race.. we can like urm, start at hwa chong, take picture of hwa chong rock wall and have pitstop at hwachong.. ok not so amazing.. but hey, we can set record times for it...

hee hee no mood to study for chem tmrw.. (oh ya and all the best ya guys!!! Wow.. my gang of lower-than-fifty-fives... sounds like some community centre group of old people..) so should write a paragraph for GP.. check it out!!

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"On being the single child" : (There was a topic like that before right?)
Everybody wants to be a single child. Why? Cos being attached is too time consuming, and too burden-ish. Oh! U mean only child. See mee dai chee? U must italics the word "single" ya?

So anyway everyone wants to be a single child. Why? A very good question indeed if I may say so myself. And one might go on to question the credibleness of this auspicious statement. No harm done. Refer to the next paragraph.

(Take note this is the topic paragraph of this sentence) This is because being the only child, u get to bully the next kid that arrives! Every old sibling has felt such a satisfying satisfaction. For counter argument sake we know u get more beatings and scoldings and caning, but what the heck! U get to take it out on your younger sibs (when they arrive) and then blame it on your parents! No where else in Singapore can u do something similar and get away with the law.

Next, being the only child means that your name is the most original. If your name is xiao de, let's say, then your next sibling, if he exists, will then be xiao-something. If your name is Issac, the next child will be Issa and then the third will be Is, (or I, depending on how lazy the parents are). So if u have a surname like Gay, remember the ear ring should be on left side.

Now to my third and last point, as everybody knows, being the only child will garanti u get all the bonuses. This includes food, medical bills, dental fees and insurance policies BUT excludes year end bonuses, good grades, and wife maintenance. While that also means that u're always the centre of scrutination, u're also always the centre of attention. While others have their five minutes of fame, you have your greater-than-or-equal-to-nine-months of it! (that is assuming no premature labour). You also save your mother of the lack of over time pay.. I mean pregnancy is the only labour u don't get paid for! (I have to admit this is a good one myself... men are lucky. Or rather they should be!)

In concluding, as much I encourage copulation, one child is enough. Remember, as the only child u are better of than other people because we all know no one is there to fight over Santa's presents with you!

BE A SINGLE CHILD! It's good for your teeth!

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Ok that took some time of mine. It's original heh.. please PLEASE don't copy me and say it's my fault (although ms heng will not be v happy if she sees this) but hey, in the good sense of world peace and journalism, carpe diem and write!

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